These posts are edited emails that I would send home to Marc each night. I can’t even express how awesome this opportunity was and how extremely grateful I am that I got to attend. I am totally asking to go again for Christmas because it was amazing! WARNING*** These posts are REALLY long!
I have cried and wanted to scream and for the first time here felt like I failed, not just the program but at home too.... it has been a HARD day!
When I went to bed last night I knew that my body was going to give me trouble. It wasn't processing food right and I had a weird discoloration on my stomach. I wish I had taken a picture but it almost looked like a bruise. This morning I woke up in a lot of pain and so I didn't eat breakfast and I skipped my first acting group this morning. I finally started hurting less and was able to go to my first class which was.... wow... it was... something... Oh the video phone. We were supposed to call someone from home using an interpreter to voice for us. We were using the VRS service that I used before to talk to the Branch President of the Deaf Branch. Basically one signs to the interpreter via computer or iphone and the other person talks to the interpreter via their phone. But the connection was really slow and bad and we were unable to complete that project. I probably would have called Mikkel because I would have wanted to hear your voice and talking to you (Marc) but not really would have been really hard today. Anyway, then I went to a class where we had to make shapes with our bodies. The instructor drew a shape in the air and we had to copy it. It was a case of "too many chiefs and not enough Indians." I would get frustrated because I would get positioned in one place. Oh did I mention we couldn't sign at all and we had to do everything through gestures or physically moving people... anyway, I would get positioned once and then someone else would come and move me and then someone else would move me again and I just wanted it all to stop. But it made for an interesting activity. It was supposed to build our teamwork but I don't know that it did.... Then it was time for lunch and I had a yummy ceasar salad with pulled pork, tomatoes, and cucumbers added. IT WAS DELICIOUS!!!! I also ate a giant cookie for lunch but it was my first dessert of the trip so I didn't feel too guilty. Then we were supposed to learn about Deaf Film, Black Deafs, and something else but instead we learned about the world of interpreting. It was good information but I have heard it all before but it was nice to have a refresher.
After that I had another session with my acting group. We made our pig ears today and was able to send you a picture of it.
Oh I also took a picture of my old whale (we had to switch with someone before breakfast today) and a picture of my new whale. George was blue and Coco (I didn't name her) is pink. Anyway, then we went to dinner.
At dinner, I was really distant and it was because I was thinking about home. I felt that it had been a really weird day. I ate salad again and sat with a good group of girls and enjoyed chatting and whatever. I finished dinner and went to check in on my online classes. The one seems like it will be good but it will take a lot of reading. The other class seems strict and I need to make sure that I get everything written down on time so that I don't miss an assignment. It was then time for our nightly game that was called "Flip Flop Island".... Oh I forgot about the scavenger hunt today.... rewind again please!
So someone decided that it would be a BRILLIANT idea to do a scavenger hunt outdoors in Phoenix, during the summer, at 3:00 PM. REALLY! Ugh. Not only was this our brilliant plan but our hints were out of order. We were supposed to find the clues, 1, 2, 3, 4, ..... but our clues went more like 1, 4, (we never found 2), 6, 7, 3, .... And we figured out some of the clues and then weren't able to find the clues because one of the hotel's staff threw them away thinking they were litter. It was so frustrating and so hot and so ridiculous! In theory it was a good idea and had it been done at night or in the morning or in the winter and in some sort of order.... it would have been fine but it wasn't done that way and so it was really hard!
Okay back to flip flop island... so as you can see I have already had a draining day and I really would like a nice game but flip flop island is anything but a nice game. You see they tried to do a Deaf Deaf World but they did a rude version of Deaf Deaf World. You see each booth had a Deaf person and we were supposed to figure out how to communicate with them. The only rules we had were confusing and I wasn't really sure how it would work. I went to my first table and I was confident that I could figure out this game. At each table we had to communicate and then get a stamp saying that we had passed their table. I went to Robert's table, the travel agency, and tried to communicate. He didn't really sign back and so I went to writing to him but was immediately thrown in jail. I waited in jail a few minutes and went to try again. I went back to Robert's table and was immediately thrown in jail again. I figured a new table would be best and I went to the library. I chatted about books and favorite authors and asked for a recommendation but though I talked for a long time I didn't get a stamp..... Someone recommended going to the Hearing Club because I could actually voice there and find out what was going on. I went and found out that they were ignorant hearing people and had no clue what was going on. They were so rude about the Deaf culture and I found it really offensive. I went to the doctor's office and though other people wrote messages and got their papers signed, I tried writing and ended back in jail. Pretty soon I ended back in jail after going to the bank and was DONE! I couldn't figure out the game and I was losing. They told me I could leave jail and I said I wanted to stay. They kept telling me to leave and I said no. I was so frustrated that pretty soon the tears bubbled over. I just felt so dumb and I kept taking all of the rude comments by the Deaf people so personally. There was a guardian angel that came and gave me chips to get out of jail but I didn't want her pity. She whispered in my ear that if I needed a moment outside that would be fine. I went out and cried and composed myself and tried again. At this point everyone had noticed that I had been crying and they kept asking about it but I just kept trying to move on. I watched other people as they interacted at the various tables and I learned which ones I could succeed at. I went to the vet and made it through using SEE (Signed Exactly English), through the bank using the Rochester method (everything is fingerspelled), the dinner using the oral method (mouthing), and the ice cream store with gestures. The game was FINALLY over and then we had a debriefing.
Basically, our debriefing was supposed to show us that though this last hour was frustrating for us that this is their life 24/7 as a Deaf person and we got a small taste of that. By the end of the time I felt like I was the worst person on the planet because I was hearing but I can't change that fact. I really get tired of feeling like I am an awful person that is always trying to take advantage or manipulate or discriminate or whatever when my only crime is being hearing. I understand that there are a lot of ignorant and mean hearing people. BUT I AM NOT ONE OF THEM! I don't appreciate being clumped in the same group and treated like crap. It was really hard to sit through. Part of the game was tv announcements and they announced things like tornado warnings but only the truly Deaf ever got to participate in those announcements. They were saying in real life that is true because most of the emergency happenings are hear overhead. I guess many Deaf people thought 9/11 was a movie and wasn't the tragedy it was and the Deaf didn't understand what had happened until later. They are pushing for ASL interpretations for those types of things so that the Deaf can be more informed and I totally support that. However, tonight showed me that have an ASL interpreter won't solve the problem though it would help a lot. There are too many Deaf individuals who don't communicate through sign, they use PSE, SEE, Pidgeon, Rochester Method, etc. and we can't interpret for all of those individually. I don't know.
They talked about cops and how many times Deaf individuals are arrested unlawfully. At the scene of an accident it is usually the case that statements are only taken from the hearing individuals because it is too difficult to get the statement from a Deaf individual. I guess a man was shot a few years ago when he was pulled over. He was Deaf and was reaching in the glove box for a paper and pencil to communicate but the officer thought he was reaching for a gun and shot him. Now the universal sign for deafness is to stick your fingers in your ears. I think it looks like a little kid pretending not to hear you but that is their way of communicating that they are deaf. They talked about how no hearing person should ever teach ASL because it is not our language and it ruins their language. By the time it ended I was MAD. I went and vented my frustrations to Kelli and Sharri and eventually I calmed down. I can see things from the Deaf perspective and I to respect them but that doesn't mean that I have to become dirt. I get really tired of having to prove myself because I am hearing. I can't change that fact and it doesn't change who I am as a person. I should be given a chance because I am a person. One of the questions they asked is when the rude comments were said in the game if we stood up for the Deaf community. I said that I thought we were supposed to be Deaf and so I pretended like I couldn't hear. I was chided for pretending not to hear because that doesn't help the Deaf community. I said that I pretended not to hear in the game but in real life I totally stand up for the Deaf community. Tomorrow will be better and I will have a good attitude and a fresh outlook.
Oh I also took a picture of my old whale (we had to switch with someone before breakfast today) and a picture of my new whale. George was blue and Coco (I didn't name her) is pink. Anyway, then we went to dinner.
At dinner, I was really distant and it was because I was thinking about home. I felt that it had been a really weird day. I ate salad again and sat with a good group of girls and enjoyed chatting and whatever. I finished dinner and went to check in on my online classes. The one seems like it will be good but it will take a lot of reading. The other class seems strict and I need to make sure that I get everything written down on time so that I don't miss an assignment. It was then time for our nightly game that was called "Flip Flop Island".... Oh I forgot about the scavenger hunt today.... rewind again please!
So someone decided that it would be a BRILLIANT idea to do a scavenger hunt outdoors in Phoenix, during the summer, at 3:00 PM. REALLY! Ugh. Not only was this our brilliant plan but our hints were out of order. We were supposed to find the clues, 1, 2, 3, 4, ..... but our clues went more like 1, 4, (we never found 2), 6, 7, 3, .... And we figured out some of the clues and then weren't able to find the clues because one of the hotel's staff threw them away thinking they were litter. It was so frustrating and so hot and so ridiculous! In theory it was a good idea and had it been done at night or in the morning or in the winter and in some sort of order.... it would have been fine but it wasn't done that way and so it was really hard!
Okay back to flip flop island... so as you can see I have already had a draining day and I really would like a nice game but flip flop island is anything but a nice game. You see they tried to do a Deaf Deaf World but they did a rude version of Deaf Deaf World. You see each booth had a Deaf person and we were supposed to figure out how to communicate with them. The only rules we had were confusing and I wasn't really sure how it would work. I went to my first table and I was confident that I could figure out this game. At each table we had to communicate and then get a stamp saying that we had passed their table. I went to Robert's table, the travel agency, and tried to communicate. He didn't really sign back and so I went to writing to him but was immediately thrown in jail. I waited in jail a few minutes and went to try again. I went back to Robert's table and was immediately thrown in jail again. I figured a new table would be best and I went to the library. I chatted about books and favorite authors and asked for a recommendation but though I talked for a long time I didn't get a stamp..... Someone recommended going to the Hearing Club because I could actually voice there and find out what was going on. I went and found out that they were ignorant hearing people and had no clue what was going on. They were so rude about the Deaf culture and I found it really offensive. I went to the doctor's office and though other people wrote messages and got their papers signed, I tried writing and ended back in jail. Pretty soon I ended back in jail after going to the bank and was DONE! I couldn't figure out the game and I was losing. They told me I could leave jail and I said I wanted to stay. They kept telling me to leave and I said no. I was so frustrated that pretty soon the tears bubbled over. I just felt so dumb and I kept taking all of the rude comments by the Deaf people so personally. There was a guardian angel that came and gave me chips to get out of jail but I didn't want her pity. She whispered in my ear that if I needed a moment outside that would be fine. I went out and cried and composed myself and tried again. At this point everyone had noticed that I had been crying and they kept asking about it but I just kept trying to move on. I watched other people as they interacted at the various tables and I learned which ones I could succeed at. I went to the vet and made it through using SEE (Signed Exactly English), through the bank using the Rochester method (everything is fingerspelled), the dinner using the oral method (mouthing), and the ice cream store with gestures. The game was FINALLY over and then we had a debriefing.
Basically, our debriefing was supposed to show us that though this last hour was frustrating for us that this is their life 24/7 as a Deaf person and we got a small taste of that. By the end of the time I felt like I was the worst person on the planet because I was hearing but I can't change that fact. I really get tired of feeling like I am an awful person that is always trying to take advantage or manipulate or discriminate or whatever when my only crime is being hearing. I understand that there are a lot of ignorant and mean hearing people. BUT I AM NOT ONE OF THEM! I don't appreciate being clumped in the same group and treated like crap. It was really hard to sit through. Part of the game was tv announcements and they announced things like tornado warnings but only the truly Deaf ever got to participate in those announcements. They were saying in real life that is true because most of the emergency happenings are hear overhead. I guess many Deaf people thought 9/11 was a movie and wasn't the tragedy it was and the Deaf didn't understand what had happened until later. They are pushing for ASL interpretations for those types of things so that the Deaf can be more informed and I totally support that. However, tonight showed me that have an ASL interpreter won't solve the problem though it would help a lot. There are too many Deaf individuals who don't communicate through sign, they use PSE, SEE, Pidgeon, Rochester Method, etc. and we can't interpret for all of those individually. I don't know.
They talked about cops and how many times Deaf individuals are arrested unlawfully. At the scene of an accident it is usually the case that statements are only taken from the hearing individuals because it is too difficult to get the statement from a Deaf individual. I guess a man was shot a few years ago when he was pulled over. He was Deaf and was reaching in the glove box for a paper and pencil to communicate but the officer thought he was reaching for a gun and shot him. Now the universal sign for deafness is to stick your fingers in your ears. I think it looks like a little kid pretending not to hear you but that is their way of communicating that they are deaf. They talked about how no hearing person should ever teach ASL because it is not our language and it ruins their language. By the time it ended I was MAD. I went and vented my frustrations to Kelli and Sharri and eventually I calmed down. I can see things from the Deaf perspective and I to respect them but that doesn't mean that I have to become dirt. I get really tired of having to prove myself because I am hearing. I can't change that fact and it doesn't change who I am as a person. I should be given a chance because I am a person. One of the questions they asked is when the rude comments were said in the game if we stood up for the Deaf community. I said that I thought we were supposed to be Deaf and so I pretended like I couldn't hear. I was chided for pretending not to hear because that doesn't help the Deaf community. I said that I pretended not to hear in the game but in real life I totally stand up for the Deaf community. Tomorrow will be better and I will have a good attitude and a fresh outlook.
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