Why Me?

I would like to feel as if I keep a pretty cheery disposition about the medical issues that have come up in the last two years. I am sure that this is an illusion I have created for myself and I am no where as cheery as I would like to think. But lately, I seem to have a really bad case of the “Why me???” I find myself arguing that I did everything right before I was married and now I am being punished. I know that isn’t true but sometimes this is a hard trial to face. Marc and I had always talked about kids before we were married. We wanted our own little family with like 6 children. Well now it is looking that if we get one it will be a miracle. I have faith that the Lord has a plan and that children will come when they are meant to. I also know that if I can’t have children in this life that I will be able to in the next life, while in heaven. I think that knowledge has helped me through many difficult days because all of our losses will be made up to us and I believe that to be true During this time of my self-pity I received some inspiration by those who meant to share it and those who didn’t. The first was an email by a relative that explained their situation. I had no idea what struggles they had been facing and their insight and love was exactly what I needed! The second was from a blog that I follow. I have heard this quote before but I needed to hear it again that day. Boyd K. Packer said, "Some are tested by poor health, some by a body that is deformed or homely. Others are tested by handsome and healthy bodies; some by the passion of youth; others by the erosions of age. Some suffer disappointment in marriage, family problems; others live in poverty and obscurity. Some (perhaps this is the hardest test) find ease and luxury. All are part of the test, and there is more equality in this testing than sometimes we suspect." I know that I signed up for this trial and that I can beat it. I can face the world one day at a time and not become a victim of my circumstance. I can be the person I want to be and use this opportunity to become polished. I will win and I will remember this quote when I start to feel sorry for myself.